Tag Archives: Gemini

Gluten-Free Astrology: Sagittarius (born November 22 – December 21)

Some people have all the luck. GF Sagittarius people, specifically. Oh, you may not feel lucky, what with having to be gluten-free and all, but compared to the rest of us, your life’s a breeze! You manage to eat out more than the rest of us, yet suffer from unintentional glutenings far less often. Or you were one of those fortunate jerks who felt better straight after going gluten-free. Some people, the universe just loves more.

Okay, I’ll stop complaining and move on to the good stuff. This month, we’re looking at the GF Sagittarius, and really, what’s not to love? Good-humored, thoughtful, imaginative, and entertaining, you’re well-liked even by gluten-eaters. And you tend to like most people back…but from a distance. Above all, you love your freedom.

Your sign is the archer. Your aim is true; your skin is blue. (Probably a complication of celiac.) Photo © Migy illustration | Flickr

Your sign is the archer. Your aim is true; your skin is blue. (Probably a complication of celiac.)
Photo © Migy illustration | Flickr

Understandably, you’re therefore less than thrilled with your gluten-freedom and all of the constraints it entails. You love traveling, visiting new restaurants, and immersing yourself in interesting cuisines, and the idea of having to limit these adventures, even for your own good, really bugs you. You have a certain disdain for the mundane routines of everyday life—you wish to soar above it all—and upon diagnosis, likely felt shackled and dismayed. To cook for yourself every day, to lose the spontaneity you prize…! Oh dear.

Fortunately, among all the signs, you’re also the most optimistic, so I’m sure it wasn’t (or won’t be) long before you cheered up and began looking forward to the next adventure. Like your polar opposite, Gemini, you love new projects, but—unlike flighty Gemini—you engage whole-heartedly (or, rather, whole-headedly) with the pursuit, keen to fully understand it in all the minute detail that a Gemini would find unspeakably boring. Once you do understand it, you’re liable to move on before finishing, not because it’s boring, but because there’s always something even more interesting around the corner.

Though you and a Gemini may both have twelve different, opened bags of GF flour and a food scale collecting dust in your pantry, you would be able to speak earnestly and accurately about the nutritional and chemical properties of each, and what every gluten-free baking authority has to say about all-purpose blends. And if anyone has a question about flour, you’d be delighted to respond.

In general, the GF Sagittarius enjoys answering questions and doing favors. You’re the type to offer aid to a befuddled-looking fellow gluten-free grocery shopper, or to share your GF discoveries via social media. On the other hand, you’re not one to, say, lead a support group, or anything else requiring a long-term commitment. Just the idea of showing up for weekly meetings probably makes you itchy. Me, listen to the same people say the same things every Thursday night at 7 p.m. forever? you might think. Oh, no no no.

To some, this attitude makes you appear cold, breezy, or unreliable, but you’re not, really. (Well, maybe a teensy bit unreliable.) You just need to feel free to pursue your own gluten-free life the way you feel is best for you—and you extend the same courtesy to others. You’ll help when needed, but never badger.

Poised to puncture the gluten-free fad diet bubble, while a dejected (Cancer?) friend waits for you to pay attention to him again. Photo © Fabio Ricco | Flickr

Poised to puncture the gluten-free fad diet bubble, while a dejected (Cancer?) friend waits for you to pay attention to him.
Photo © Fabio Ricco | Flickr

You have high hopes for the future gluten-free community on a large scale, and big ideas for how to improve things, but you lack follow-through. Your enthusiasm is contagious, though, so if this month, you manage to partner with someone more attuned to the nitty-gritty (might I suggest a Virgo?), you might manage to effect some changes.

Given your love of eating out—which you’ve surely managed to continue after the initial shock of diagnosis—you might put your ability to think clearly and deeply through an issue (and to honestly lay bare the trouble spots therein) to a good cause by raising awareness in the restaurant industry. I’ve written about this topic myself, but geez! I’m a Gemini; I can’t be expected to stay interested long enough to DO something about it. If you lose steam, too, well…you at least will remain sure that it’ll all work itself out. That’s something.

Physically, the GF Sagittarius must watch for liver issues (which you won’t be surprised to learn are associated with celiac disease) and alcoholism. So put down that gluten-removed beer!

Finally, a long list of great Sagittarian writers proves how inventive and intelligent you all are: Jane Austen, Emily Dickinson, Walt Disney, to name just a few. (None of them were, so far as I know, gluten-free, but I’ve discussed what they might have written if they were.) On the GF side, there’s:

Ingrid Michaelson

Ingrid Michaelson

Ingrid Michaelson, born December 8, 1979, is an indie-pop singer-songwriter who writes fun Sagittarian lyrics (“The Way I Am” displays her love of new adventures, but is oddly accepting of romantic commitment). Back in 2009, she revealed herself to be GF by tweeting, “Why does everything delicious have to have gluten in it????” Again following her Sagittarian nature, she apparently immersed herself in discovering something delicious that didn’t have gluten in it, and in 2011 submitted a yummy-looking flourless chocolate cake recipe to Parade. Unlike some flourless chocolate cakes, it’s actually flourless.

Mark Twain

Mark Twain

Mark Twain, born November 30, 1835, led a decidedly non-GF life. His long list of favorite foods included “Hot biscuits, Southern style,” “Hot wheat-bread, Southern style,” “Apple dumplings, with real cream,” and “All sorts of American pastry.” However, in a birthday speech in his seventies, he shared that, “In the manner of diet—I have been persistently strict in sticking to the things which didn’t agree with me until one or the other of us got the best of it.” What this tells me is that Twain spent a lifetime battling with unpleasant consequences of eating things he shouldn’t have. Surely one of those was gluten.

I’d love to tell you more, but not being a Sagittarius, I’m unwilling to research this topic any further. If you or a friend are a GF Sagittarius, please share—and let me know what I missed.

As always, the “information,” such as it is, in this post has been largely ripped off from The Only Astrology Book You’ll Ever Need, by Joanna Martine Woolfolk, which is in fact the only astrology book you’ll ever need (need here being a relative term).

See also: Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio

GF Sagittariuses, please share your ever-honest feedback in the comments. And if you want to get all of my future posts (astrology and otherwise), feel free to follow me via Twitter, Facebook, or email.

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Gluten-Free Astrology: Gemini (born May 21 – June 20)

Today marks the start of ME ME ME ME ME ME—sorry, I mean Gemini. The temperature is rising, flowers are blooming, kiddies are graduating, asparagi are past their peak but still in season, and it’s time to direct our attention to the Gluten-Free Gemini. As it should be.

Gemini begins today, May 21st, and extends through June 20th. Let’s check out what the stars have in store for me and my fellow Geminis this month.

Photo © Joe Plocki | Flickr With "twins" rather than an animal as the sign's ruling symbol, Flickr search results for "Gemini" get a bit artsy...

Photo © Joe Plocki | Flickr
With twins as the sign’s ruling symbol, Flickr search results for “Gemini” get a bit artsy.

The Gluten-Free Gemini is ruled by Mercury, the messenger god who reigns over communication, travel, and cleverness. To get a sense of the GF Gemini, think Mercury, the element: rapidly shifting, rising then plummeting, erratic and unpredictable, like that red stuff in an old-fashioned thermometer during climate change. GF Geminis are versatile and, as a friend recently reminded me, capricious. They always have something—or several things—going on, because they pick up projects quickly and drop them just as suddenly. They’re the type of gluten-freer who heard “for life” and thought, “Is that even possible?”

In other words, as a GF Gemini, it’s absolutely shocking I’ve maintained this astrology project for even three posts running. GF Cancers, consider yourselves warned.

For us GF Geminis, this month will be a time—as usual—of varied, unfinished projects, new enthusiasms, and sudden burnouts. Perhaps you’ll actually attempt to set up that gluten-free speed-dating sesh, or become briefly immersed in the world of from-scratch GF baking. You’ll look into event spaces, reach out to some fellow GF community members, realize how much work an event like this would be, and drop it immediately. Or you’ll order twelve different kinds of flour from Amazon and perform frenzied Google searches trying to choose the best blend, then lose patience, throw caution to the wind, make up your own blend, and lose faith in the entire pursuit when your baked good falls flat. But you won’t stay discouraged for long! You move on fast, and you’re quick to laugh, even at your own shortcomings.

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GF Gemini rules over butterflies and vibrantly colored birds—flitting, dainty things that delight their onlookers but are internally rather cold, bored souls already eyeing that prettier flower over…there. Though the GF Gemini is talkative and forthcoming, this urge to communicate can sometimes turn into idle, superficial chatter or gossip. You aren’t mean, you just love a good story. This month, strive not to alienate your loved ones, who have accommodated your gluten-free lifestyle handsomely, by talking about them behind their backs or tuning them out while you brainstorm your next blog post.

Then again, if you do mess up, you’ll probably win everyone back over with your fantastic people skills (which we supposedly have—I keep waiting for mine to kick in). You know how to win people to a cause, and this month just might be the month you finally persuade your relatives (and friends, and random passerby on the street) to get themselves tested for celiac disease. You aren’t, after all, content to play the part of the patient on this gluten-free stage—you’ve got to play the doctor, nurse, and researcher, too! At least until you tire of it.

The body parts ruled by Gemini are the lungs and arms (get it? Twins?), and we g-free types sometimes have asthma and weak bones to deal with. Eat those calcium-rich green leafies to avoid breaking any arms this month when you get overexcited about trying the new bikeshare program in your city; and don’t diagnose yourself with any associated autoimmune disorders just because you have a cursory understanding of them from WebMD. Beware your tendency to skim and assume mastery having done so. (Remember you’re not the doctor.)

Though your cheerful demeanor helps you to hide it (unless you’re broadcasting it to the entire internet, like I do), you do have a brooding, anxious side. Try to remember it’s springtime out there, and there are lots of interesting things to focus on in this world—no need to worry too much about what’s next in your personal health adventure.

There are lots of interesting GF Geminis to follow, too. People with gluten issues are maybe more likely to be born in spring and summer, so there are lots of Geminis; and Geminis are so lively and compelling that of course they wind up celebrities. A winning combo!

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Novak Djokovic

Novak Djokovic is a GF Gemini, and an awesome one at that (happy birthday to him tomorrow). He attributes his stepped-up tennis game to switching to a gluten-free diet, although recently his performance has been inconsistent. In his own words, he “lost the concentration”—sounds about right for a Gemini. Also Geminilike, he spends his leisure time founding restaurant chains then leaving the day-to-day operations up to other people, making cameos in music videos, and buying up entire year’s productions of donkey cheese (OK, that one’s not true).

Elisabeth Hasselbeck

Elisabeth Hasselbeck

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is another biggie in GF Geminiland. Like the rest of us, she keeps herself busy: not content to appear on just one TV show, she’s flirted with SurvivorGood Morning America, and of course her own show The View, where she shows off her Gemini communication skills. Plus, she’s written two books about living and cooking gluten-free (though her knack for picking up choice tidbits from other people’s self-published books may or may not have gotten her into a spot of trouble there).

Marilyn Monroe

Marilyn Monroe

Last but most certainly not least, I have to give a shout-out to Marilyn Monroe, who was a Gemini through and through and stumbled upon her own super-weird version of a gluten-free diet, to which she attributed her awesome figure in this old Pageant article. Every day, she claimed, she ate two raw eggs in warm milk, plain broiled meat, four or five raw carrots, and occasionally a hot fudge sundae. Bizarre, yes, gluteny, no.

As always, the “information,” such as it is, in this post has been largely ripped off from The Only Astrology Book You’ll Ever Need, by Joanna Martine Woolfolk, which is in fact the only astrology book you’ll ever need (need here being a relative term).

See also: AriesTaurus

Don’t click away yet, GF Geminis! I know YouTube calls, but resist your flighty nature long enough to leave me a comment. What new projects do you have planned this month?

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