Gluten nightmares (plus gratuitous cute baby photos!)

Do you dream in gluten?

If so, maybe you’re familiar with this nightmare: Someone presents you with a plate of cookies and tells you they’re gluten-free, then after you’ve eaten several…

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Original photo © tgilbers | Flickr

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Original photo © Lesley Show | Flickr

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Original photo © Kris Krüg | Flickr

My first-ever gluten nightmare was like that (but without the adorable baby photos). I think in the dream it was my mom who gave me the cookies—sorry, Mom, I know you’d never really do that!

Last night I had a new one: I dreamed I ate a box of Triscuits. When someone pointed out Triscuits aren’t gluten-free, my dream self was baffled. “I just…forgot!” she said.

Ha, ha, dream self. No forgetting allowed.

And, of course, there’s the ever-recurring waking nightmare of the newly diagnosed: It’s a year from now, and my doctor is showing me my chart and saying, “Turns out, you’re an asymptomatic celiac who just happens to have lots of other stuff wrong with you!”

Terrifying.

Luckily, even after a sleepless night, cute photos of children eating cookies always cheer me up.

Tell me your gluten nightmares! And if you’re dozing off at your desk this Monday morning, here’s wishing you sweet but gluten-free dreams.

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8 thoughts on “Gluten nightmares (plus gratuitous cute baby photos!)

  1. SStitches says:

    Ohhhh, yes. Until earlier this year, I thought I was the only one with those dreams! Mine is usually a big greasy pizza (which always involves other things I can’t eat, like pepperoni, or just won’t eat, like something that greasy), or a huge deli-made sandwich with crusty bread . . . Imagine the anxiety we have in our waking life if this is how our unconscious minds process it!

    • SStitches says:

      Oh, I also woke from general anesthesia once, swearing that the nurses force-fed me bread. I felt totally justified a year later when I saw an episode of House where they do JUST THAT.

      • Molly says:

        Ohh, as a vegetarian I have meat-eating dreams sometimes too! But actually I think they’ve been supplanted by the gluten-y ones. I hope that if the nurses did force-feed you bread, it was at least a nice crusty loaf, none of that hospital stuff.

  2. Laurie C says:

    These anxiety dreams sound terrible. The little girl in the middle photo (holding a cookie) does look a little bit like you at that age, though.

  3. […] Now: The test is over! All I have left to stress about is whether I’m taking my antibiotics with enough time before and after meals and between doses and with enough water and without lying down within the next 10 minutes—why is that?—and without forgetting a dose. I’ve woken up several mornings convinced I’d forgotten to take it the day before (no wonder I’m having nightmares). […]

  4. mellieann85 says:

    I haven’t had any nightmares yet…but I did almost have a panic attack when I was texting my bf about the dinner ingredients for turkey meatballs and couldn’t remember if I had checked the sauce appropriately at the store. I was at work and like please please check the sauce. it was fine and was gluten free but I had spaced out during shopping I suppose…how Im not sure. this was more of a daymare…

    • Molly says:

      I have similar daymares. I’ll be sitting and eating Popchips that a friend bought and suddenly freeze up and grab the bag to check for the “gluten-free” label. Even though I KNOW Popchips are gluten-free. And even though I’ve already been eating them. I keep doing this with granola bars, too. Brands I know are safe, I’ll just take a bite out of and then suddenly have this wild thought, “What if I remembered wrong? What if this is the one variety that’s NOT gluten-free?” What I need to do is remember to check BEFORE I start eating, but I’d probably still have freakouts now and then. It’s just one of those weird compulsions, like double- and triple-checking that my alarm clock is set before bed, even when I’m sure that I’ve set it.

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