Tag Archives: crackers

Gluten nightmares (plus gratuitous cute baby photos!)

Do you dream in gluten?

If so, maybe you’re familiar with this nightmare: Someone presents you with a plate of cookies and tells you they’re gluten-free, then after you’ve eaten several…

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Original photo © tgilbers | Flickr

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Original photo © Lesley Show | Flickr

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Original photo © Kris Krüg | Flickr

My first-ever gluten nightmare was like that (but without the adorable baby photos). I think in the dream it was my mom who gave me the cookies—sorry, Mom, I know you’d never really do that!

Last night I had a new one: I dreamed I ate a box of Triscuits. When someone pointed out Triscuits aren’t gluten-free, my dream self was baffled. “I just…forgot!” she said.

Ha, ha, dream self. No forgetting allowed.

And, of course, there’s the ever-recurring waking nightmare of the newly diagnosed: It’s a year from now, and my doctor is showing me my chart and saying, “Turns out, you’re an asymptomatic celiac who just happens to have lots of other stuff wrong with you!”

Terrifying.

Luckily, even after a sleepless night, cute photos of children eating cookies always cheer me up.

Tell me your gluten nightmares! And if you’re dozing off at your desk this Monday morning, here’s wishing you sweet but gluten-free dreams.

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An under-researched area of celiac diagnosis I’d love to know more about is…

ServeImage.aspx…how many people eat the crackers that the folks at their doctor’s office give them to break their fast after their endoscopy?

…and, in cases of confirmed celiac disease, does taking the crackers vs. not taking the crackers accurately predict the likelihood of adherence to a gluten-free diet?

…and, finally, is any percentage of doctor’s office staff members even aware that it’s funny to give glutenous crackers to someone they’ve just tested for celiac disease?

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