26 bulletproof reasons why NOT to go to the gym: from A to Z

Do you like Scattergories? I love it. If you aren’t familiar with the game, the point is to come up with words or phrases that begin with a certain letter (as determined by a die roll) and that fit into various categories on a list. One of my favorite categories is “reasons to be late for school or work,” because there are a million reasons—from “attacked by rabid squirrels” to “zephyr carried me away”—to be running late.

Another category I think I’d excel at, if it existed, is “reasons to skip the gym in the morning.” Once upon a time, I was almost machinelike in my adherence to the six-a-week workout schedule. But these days, despite knowing that exercise is an important part of staying healthy, even (or perhaps especially) for us chronic types, I truly manage to find an excuse for every letter of the alphabet.

Like so:

  • After all, tomorrow is another day
  • Bed’s too warm
  • Can’t find sneakers
  • Dreamed about going (close enough)
  • Eating breakfast sounds better
  • Fitness is overrated
  • Gotta write a blog post
  • Have a chronic disease
  • It’s [snowing/raining/sleeting/windy/dark/cold/hot] outside
  • Just don’t wanna
  • Kept hitting snooze; now it’s too late
  • Lots to do
  • My stomach hurts
  • No energy
  • Over it
  • Playlist is stale
  • Quit caffeine
  • Rest days are important, too
  • Sick (see: H)
  • Toe cramp (see: J)
  • Up too late on Twitter
  • Vile thing, that elliptical
  • Whatever, I look fine
  • Xercise, schmXercise
  • Yeah, yeah, I’ll go in a minute
  • Zzzzzzzzzzz…

gymEvery morning, one must win.

Photos © Allie HolzmanJoint Base Lewis McChord (Flickr)

Do you make excuses? What’s your favorite? Let me know in the comments.

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9 thoughts on “26 bulletproof reasons why NOT to go to the gym: from A to Z

  1. I went last week…is my favorite line I tell myself. Then realize that really, it was about four weeks ago that I last moved…oops! I also tell myself that I’m giving my arms a workout by drinking heavy glasses of wine.

  2. Mary Kate says:

    I mostly go with O: OVER IT. Which is why my gym membership is over.

    I do like Pilates, but I have some weeks where the excuses win, even still.

    • Molly says:

      My insurance will pay for a gym membership if I go a certain amount of times in a six-month period, which is a strong inducement to keep it up. I’ve heard most gym memberships go unused (and I’ve had my fair share of long stretches not going and wondering why I was wasting my money), so good for you for letting it drop.

      I’ve never tried Pilates! I really should though. I went to hot yoga a few times and can’t decide if I like it or not.

      • Mary Kate says:

        My insurance will, too, but it’s a per month requirement, and my rule was if I had to pay for it two months in a row (because I didn’t go enough), it got cancelled. I made it over a year this time. I could definitely average it out over a few months, and the one month I missed it last year, a blizzard at the end of the month kind of screwed me.

  3. Laurie C says:

    This post pinged into my inbox this morning just after I had found my always-packed, somewhat dusty gym bag and lugged it down to the door, vowing to head straight to the gym directly after work. I didn’t read your post till tonight so I wouldn’t talk myself out of it using any of your excuses!

    • Molly says:

      Haha! Good strategy! Although none of my excuses are all that persuasive (except if you’re in bed trying to decide whether or not to get up).

  4. […] us with chronic illnesses to do what we can to get or stay fit. And you may recall that last year I was suffering from daily-cardio-induced workout fatigue, so it makes sense to try something new. Besides smacking painfully of gym class, this was […]

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