Tag Archives: wheat

A Candy Corny Calligram for Lovers and Haters

.
Oh

you
small
sweet
treat in
three fall
hues! You
pain me yet
I can’t refuse.
You’re cloying,
but I eat up still;
I simply cannot get
my fill. Each year I say
That’s quite enough! But
sticking to it’s really tough.
When I went vegetarian, I gave
up eating gelatin, and thought that I
had got you beat, especially when I gave
up wheat. For Brach’s, the kind I always ate,
may contain wheat. I said, that’s great! I steeled
myself to say goodbye, and swore I’d manage not
to cry. It all might turn out for the best; perhaps I’d feel
that I’d been blessed. But, look! my sister said, let’s see,
Some brand MUST make it gluten-free. She turned out to be
fully right, as I learned surfing site-to-site. The Jelly Belly kind is
clean, of wheat & nuts & gelatine. So, yes, I bought us both a bunch
although it was a budget crunch. And now—surprise—I’m feeling sick,
from falling for your same old trick. I feel that I can eat and eat, but ALWAYS
you prove way 
too sweet. I thought I’d lost you—planned to mourn—but still you
haunt me, Candy Corn
. I’m sure that I will quit next year. Till then, I’ll savor every ear.

250px-candy-corn

For those who don’t gag at the thought of candy corn: Jelly Belly’s is gluten-free and (in my opinion, but not my sister’s) better-textured than the more traditional but iffier Brach’s. It’s also about a thousand times the price, so start saving up now for next year. (Or for the Christmas “reindeer corn”…oh dear.)

For everyone: happy almost-Halloween! What bad habit can’t you seem to quit?

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Game of Thrones Gluten-Freeview (Season 3, Episode 5)

Remember when I expounded at length on how easy it would be to be gluten-free in the Game of Thrones universe? I was biting my tongue when I watched this week’s episode. (Mild spoiler alert.)

got screen cap copy

In a scene that is one of my favorites so far this season, Olenna Tyrell, Queen of Thorns and grandmother of Margaery Tyrell (the queen-to-be), visits Tyrion Lannister at his invitation to discuss “financial matters.”

Olenna lets him know right away she’s displeased: “I climbed all those stairs to discuss ‘financial matters’?” Then she demands figs and explains, “I always take figs mid-afternoon. They help move the bowels.”

Tyrion takes this in stride. I was the only one in my group of friends who found it hilarious. Hm, odd.

Next, Tyrion calls Olenna out for her extravagance in planning the royal wedding during wartime. In response, she ticks off the list of supplies the Tyrells have given to aid the war effort:

What is it, 12,000 infantrymen the Tyrell family has supplied, 1,800 mounted lancers, 2,000 in support, provisions so the city might survive the winter: a million bushels of wheat, half a million bushels each of barley, oats, and rye, 20,000 head of cattle, 50,000 sheep?

It’s a great scene, solidly written, subtly acted, featuring two of my favorite characters on the show. But all I could think was, “Man, I hope everyone in King’s Landing can tolerate gluten.”

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