Meet Celia: A Gluten-Free American Girl

Last week, we took a look inside the lunch box of a modern American Girl doll. There were sandwich skewers. The times, they are a’changin’—why, the only accessory my Samantha doll had was a comb.

The accessories aren’t all that have kept pace with our modern era. The books have, too. They used to focus on the historical American Girls and followed a great six-book formula: we meet the protagonist, she learns new things about herself and the world, she overcomes obstacles, she comes out of it a changed and better person. All between the ages of nine and eleven.

American Girl TodayThese days, they publish under the series American Girl Today. There are fewer books for each girl, and they have modern names like Nicki and McKenna. They pose against technicolor backgrounds doing modern-girl things like gymnastics.

I don’t mean to knock the new books—I haven’t even read them. But they did have a good thing going with the old series. In honor of the beloved classic formula, I hereby introduce to you a new American Girl. Like more and more girls (and boys) today, our heroine must eat gluten-free. I’ve dubbed her, for obvious reasons, Celia.

This is her story.

Meet Celia: An American Girl

Celia awakens on a hospital cart, still groggy from the sedative, and is told, “We think you have it.” A week later, it’s confirmed: she has celiac disease. Her life will irrevocably change. It is a sad beginning.

Celia Learns a Lesson: A School Story

The moral of this one is: never trust the hot lunch. Celia is glutened again and again until she finally agrees to start brown-bagging it.

Celia’s Surprise: A Christmas Story

At her first gluten-free Christmas, Celia is shocked by the beany aftertaste in the sugar cookies her mother has prepared, but pleasantly surprised to learn that most candy canes are gluten-free.

Happy Birthday, Celia!: A Springtime Story

In which Celia learns that she probably only has this stupid disease in the first place because she was born in the springtime. However, her King Arthur Flour GF birthday cake (like mine!) is pretty tasty.

Celia Saves The Day: A Summer Story

Celia can’t eat what the other girls are having in the camp mess hall, and when they make pasta necklaces she feels understandably left out. Still, it turns out to be worth it when, uninflamed and energized, she joins her tentmates for the end-of-summer relay race. At the finish line, she raises the baton in victory.

Changes for Celia: A Winter Story

Despite the chilly weather, Celia begins to feel awfully thirsty all the time, even while consuming jugs and jugs of water. She also seems to be peeing it all out every twenty-five minutes. After dropping an unneeded fifteen pounds, Celia visits the doctor and learns there will be changes indeed: like 5 to 10 percent of her celiac peers, she has type I diabetes. She’ll need to not only avoid gluten but also learn the ups and downs of managing her blood sugar. She’s a positive little thing, though, with a pioneering American spirit, so to her it’s all just another exciting challenge.

Do you admire Celia’s unremitting pluck, or do you sorta hate her for it?

I’m on the fence. I don’t think I have diabetes, per se, but after reading Celiac Disease: A Hidden Epidemic (which claims that the likelihood of having an associated autoimmune disease rises to 30 percent for those diagnosed after the age of 20…gulp), I’ve begun my fretting in earnest. If I do turn out to have something else on top of celiac disease, I won’t be taking the news cheerfully.

American Girl logo (with Molly)

You’ll note I didn’t place Celia in a particular historical moment like her peers, colonial Felicity or Victorian Samantha. Those historical dolls are now being laid to rest, one by one, along with their accessories, in the “archives” (though the books, fortunately, will remain in print). Samantha, my favorite (and many of yours), was “retired” in 2008, and it was recently announced that Molly will be next.

We must accept that the past is past, unsaleable to the girls of today. We must look forward to new American Girls who better resemble the girls of today and tomorrow.

Celia lives at a time when celiac disease is better understood and more researched, but still diagnosed late, with attending complications, and incurable except by means of a lifelong diet whose cred is being rapidly eroded by claims about “fads.” In short, she lives today. We can only hope that one day, with celiac and other autoimmune diseases vaccinated into oblivion, Celia too will be rendered a historical figure, hopelessly out of date, a relic fit only for the archive.

What are your summer, spring, and winter celiac stories? What changes and surprises have you encountered (birthday or otherwise)? Do you have other autoimmune diseases and were you diagnosed before or after learning you had celiac? Have you come across any great new celiac-disease-themed kids’ books recently?

P.S. There’s still time to enter my giveaway (it runs through Tuesday) by taking the celiac disease personality quiz and reporting your score. Check it out this weekend, if you aren’t spending it at the GFAF Expo. If you are, see you there!

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What do you say to celiac disease ignorance?

Do you speak up when someone says something incorrect about gluten sensitivity or celiac disease? (This, by the way, could almost be a question on my celiac disease personality quiz. If you haven’t yet, try it and let me know your result for a chance to win free tickets to or a swag bag from the New York/New Jersey GFAF Expo.)

I generally do. I don’t like the idea of untruths being spread, and I feel party to it if I hold my tongue, especially when I have a personal connection to the subject.

Sometimes, I’m the one who turns out to be wrong. Case in point: last night, I learned that my parents mash their potatoes with an electric mixer, not by hand, as I had been vehemently insisting to my sister. But even then, I don’t usually regret speaking my mind. A little friendly debate is fun.

mashing potatoes with electric mixer

I still think it’s better to hand-mash. Sorry, Mom and Dad.
Photo © Robyn Anderson | Flickr

However, when the other person also feels personally connected to the subject, and isn’t my sister, and we aren’t discussing culinary technique, things can get sticky. A Google search isn’t always sufficient evidence to win such debates, which may escalate into real confrontations.

So, under such circumstances, I sometimes just back off. For example:

Scenario #1: The Fellow Patient

A few months ago, in the waiting room at my doctor’s office, I got to talking with an older gentleman who had been diagnosed for some time.

When I asked how he felt, he shook his head. “Still sick,” he said. “I think I have a parasite.”

I was sympathetic. “I’m not feeling better yet, either.”

“And you’re sticking to the diet 100 percent?” he asked.

“Of course,” I replied.

“You don’t eat out?”

“No,” I replied.

100 percent?” he repeated.

“Yes,” I assured him. “100 percent.”

“Wow,” he said. “I don’t. It’s too hard.”

Seriously?

I wanted to say, “Huh. Maybe you don’t feel sick because you have a parasite. Maybe you just aren’t doing the one thing that is known to cure the disease you have.”

But I hardly knew the guy, and he was many years my elder. Plus, he was about to go in to see the doctor and, hopefully, be told the same thing by her (with better bedside manner).

I might have looked surprised, but otherwise, I kept my thoughts to myself. When I stood, I told him to get well soon.

*

Scenario #2: The Family Member of a Patient

At a barbecue to which I had dutifully brought my own gluten-free three-bean salad, I started talking to some of the other attendees about celiac disease.

One of them said, “My aunt had that…”

I nodded.

“…but she grew out of it,” my interlocutor concluded.

My nod turned sideways. “That’s not actually possible,” I said, slowly.

“Yes, it is. She was gluten-free when she was a baby but now she doesn’t have it anymore.”

“I’m pretty sure you can’t grow out of it…” (By now, I’d already lost: in order to maintain appropriate backyard conversational levity, I was qualifying my response, playing nice, pretending I didn’t know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you can’t “grow out of it.”)

“Yes, you can.” She was as vehement as though we were discussing her own GI tract. “She did.”

I argued a bit more, then shrugged. “Okay,” I acquiesced. “Maybe you’re right.”

I let the conversation turn to other things. I ate my salad.

I moved on.

But did I really? Clearly I’m still thinking about it—about both of the conversations, wondering if I should have spoken up. Maybe I could have dammed one small stream of misinformation, if only I had thought of the right thing to say.

Instead, I reverted to a certain mode of sociability, one I’m not even particularly fond of, whose principles are:

  1. one doesn’t act like a know-it-all
  2. one doesn’t harangue one’s conversation partners
  3. one doesn’t call another’s bluff.

Was this cowardice on my part? Laziness? Did standing aside make me an accessory to the “crime” of spreading ignorance?

Or was it appropriate to just let it go? Am I, after all, responsible for educating people? Even people who aren’t prepared to accept my advice? Don’t I reflect better on myself and the general celiac population by not beating people over the head with my supposed superior knowledge? Don’t I seem less uptight, less nitpicky, less of all those undesirable qualities with which we are too often associated?

I don’t know. I’ve thought about it and thought about it, and, for once, I just don’t know.

What would you have said in these situations? Have you had similar experiences? How did you respond? 

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What kind of celiac are you? (Personality quiz plus giveaway)

Do you like labels? You know who does? Celiac disease researchers. In 2011, the best of them from all over the world came together in Oslo to update definitions of kinds of celiac disease and gluten sensitivity (making me, for example, no longer “atypical”—see the new labels here).

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In the spirit of redefining categories, I thought I’d throw out some new ones of my own. (Maybe the Oslo crowd can discuss them at the next conference, to be held in Chicago this September, at my alma mater, though even the discounted rates are too expensive for this civilian!)

Now, whether or not you like labels, I think you’ll agree that often we’re defined by our illness. Some of us even call ourselves “celiacs.” But of course having celiac disease or being gluten-free isn’t all there is to know about us. Our personalities matter, too.

That’s why I’ve created a simple 10-question celiac disease personality quiz, just like the ones you used to see in Seventeen magazine. (Don’t worry, you don’t need to be a teenage girl to participate…or even have celiac disease. It’s inclusive.)

Take the quiz, then come back and let me know what you scored. To reward your participation, I’m offering a giveaway! In fact, just to make things confusing, I’m offering TWO giveaways.

The prizes are: remaining is:

1) A surprise swag bag from the upcoming Secaucus, NJ Gluten-Free and Allergy-Free Expo. Share your result in a comment, on Twitter, or on Facebook by the end of the day on Wednesday, September 11th, for a chance to win (or do all three, for three chances to win). Only US & Canada entries are eligible, though I hope you’ll check out the quiz even if you live elsewhere.

2) Two free tickets to the Expo for a day of your choice. You can attend on both Saturday the 7th and Sunday the 8th, or choose one day and bring a friend. To enter this one, comment by Friday, September 6th, letting me know your result AND letting me know that you’ve done one of the following:

Everyone who comments (and lives in the US or Canada) will be entered into the first drawing. You CAN be entered into both drawings—just be sure to do one of the Expo requirements to join the second.

There’s no better way to celebrate back-to-school (and expo) season than by taking a quiz…so what are you waiting for? Sharpen those No. 2 pencils and let’s get cracking.

The giveaway is no longer running. But you can still take the quiz here.

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Wait, wait…don’t gluten me! (I’m talking to you, Trader Joe’s.)

I hope you’re in the mood for some shenanigans. It’s the Friday before a long weekend, which means it’s time for one thing only: limericks about gluten.

In 2011, we learned that 21 percent of young people get most of their news from the Daily Show and Saturday Night Live. Judge that as you will. I myself am among the unreported mass of people who get the majority of their news from podcasts of Wait, Wait…Don’t Tell Me! Are you?

Who doesn't love this guy?

Who doesn’t love this man?

For me, it means that I’m always at least a week behind and that I occasionally mistake the fake news stories on the show for real news. It also means I have a thing for Carl Kasell.

In Carl’s honor, I hereby introduce to you the first ever installment of Wait, Wait…Don’t Gluten Me! I’ll share three gluten-related tidbits I recently discovered, in limerick form.

Guess the missing word in each and you’ll win my voice on your home answering machine or voicemail. Just kidding—you don’t want that. I don’t even want that.

Here we go:

Limerick #1

There once was a blind brownie test,
the results of which couldn’t be guessed.
Some with gluten, some not,
twenty mixes were bought.
And GF Betty Crocker was ____.

Highlight for answer:    BEST   

Stunning underdog victory! Full results here.

Stunning underdog victory! Full results here.

I’ve never tried this mix, but it seems I should—and fast. (May I remind you again that it’s Friday?) 

Have you tried the Betty Crocker mix? Does it live up to the hype if so? What’s your favorite brownie mix or recipe if not?

*

Limerick #2

I wanted to eat something green;
Trader Joe’s prices weren’t too obscene.
Skimmed the salad greens bag,
and I thought I might gag!
Wheat in lettuce? Now that’s just plain ____.

Highlight for answer:    MEAN   

photo (2)

Hey, at least it’s kosher.

Ugh. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve eaten TJ’s greens over the past months. I know, I know, “If it has a label, read it.” It just didn’t occur to me that the rule would extend to lettuce! Yet another reminder to maintain “constant vigilance.”

What’s the most surprising place you’ve discovered potential gluten contamination?

*

Limerick #3

What triggers this illness? Not sure.
It’s genetic but likely there’s more.
BacteriaTrauma?
No milk from your momma?
Who cares? Please just find us a ____!

Highlight for answer:    CURE   

433px-Injection_Syringe_01

Photo © Armin Kübelbeck
Shots! (Once again, my friends…Friday.)

Do you think they’ll figure out a vaccine in our lifetime? What’s your pet theory about the cause of celiac disease and gluten sensitivity? 

Mine is that it’s all in our heads.

*

That’s it! If you got ’em all right before looking at the answers and feel you deserve a reward, come back next week. I’ll be sharing a test of a different sort, giveaway included.

In the meantime, tell me: What intriguing gluten-free news have you come across lately? (Limericks encouraged but certainly not required.) And do you love NPR as much as I do?

If you’re new in these parts, welcome! Please check out my About page or skim the index to see what I’m about (hint: it’s not all limericks). If you’d like to stick around, scroll to the bottom to follow me via Facebook, Twitter, email, WordPress, or any blog-reading platform your heart desires.

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