Category Archives: Half-baked theories

The luck o’ the Irish

Photo © YankeeNovember3

Photo © YankeeNovember3

Are you wearing green today? I am! I’m not fully Irish, but I’ve always felt most attached to the Irish bit o’ my heritage (maybe it comes of being named Molly and having an older brother named Patrick—if you’re reading, happy name day). Lately, with all the St. Patty’s Day fervor—Irish soda bread recipes right and left in the blogosphere, viridescent-clad ladies walking arm-in-arm down the street belting “My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean”—I can’t help but let my thoughts drift to the Emerald Isle. In particular, I’ve been musing on the luck o’ the Irish.

Given the colorful (and I don’t just mean green) history of the Irish people, this phrase has always confused me. Sure, the Irish gave us four-leaf clovers and leprechauns, but it’s not as though the Irish are particularly lucky, all things considered. They’ve faced oppression, famine, prejudice, and internecine strife; their heritage has been reduced, in the United States at least, to a single day of green food coloring and daytime binge drinking per year; and the international financial crisis of the past several years hit them, well, not exactly like a pot of gold. As my thorough internet surfing has confirmed, my confusion is well founded. Experts suggest that the phrase may have originated as a slur at worst or an ironical joke at best. In other words, the luck o’ the Irish is no luck at all.

I’ve heard again and again that the Irish also have bad luck when it comes to celiac disease. The Irish have the highest rate of celiac disease in the world, I’ve read; western Ireland apparently has it even worse than the rest; and the Reverend Peter Green even used JFK’s Irish heritage as additional evidence in his case that the president may have had celiac disease. How’s that for an end-of-the-rainbow reward?

But…when I started looking into the origins of this claim, I found a 1970s study indicating a 1 in 300 prevalence of celiac disease in Ireland. Although multiple articles since then have referenced this statistic to shore up the claim that the Irish are disproportionately affected by celiac, the going statistic for the prevalence in the United States is 1 in 133—clearly a higher probability than 1 in 300. And the more recent the study or source, the less likely the author is to claim that celiac strikes more often in the Irish population. The most recent data seems to indicate the highest rate of celiac disease appears in the Saharawi population in the Western Sahara—not an Irish- or otherwise European-descended population.

So, have the Irish have gotten luckier, or the rest of the world a little unluckier? Or is it simply that the authors of the original study were unlucky in their margin of error?

Photo © cuorhome

Photo © cuorhome

I’m not sure. But as a proud part-Irish lass, I feel lucky to know there’s no pressing need to blame my celiac diagnosis on my Gaelic forebears. Plus, although some celiac-stricken Celts may feel unlucky to lose their Guinness and soda bread, their true national treasure, the potato, is naturally gluten-free. Personally, I count this as good fortune indeed.

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day! I hope your eyes, Irish or otherwise, are smilin’.

Are you celebrating today? Cooking anything special? Perhaps enjoying a pint or two of green beer (or Green’s beer)? Do you, too, find it hard to feel unlucky when potatoes aren’t blighted?

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A revised hygiene hypothesis (with tips for the hypothetical slob)

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Photo © pfly | Flickr Creative Commons

Researchers, as you likely know, are eager to learn why food allergies, gluten intolerance, and celiac disease appear to be on the rise. Many are fond of the hygiene hypothesis, which states, in a nutshell, that decreased early exposure to bacteria—i.e., being too clean as babies—predisposes us to all kinds of autoimmune and allergic BS.

I’m fond of this hypothesis, too. I’ve been known to turn down offers of hand sanitizer, citing it as my reason. Still, I propose that it is incomplete. The full hypothesis should read:

Good hygiene may cause celiac disease, but bad hygiene keeps it strong. 

We all know this on a basic level, and some people don’t even seem all that blown away by it. I’ll mention, shuddering, that having this disease means I’ll need to wipe down countertops for the rest of my life, and they stare at me as though wiping down countertops were something they’d always done. People diagnosed with celiac disease who know how to wield a sponge are lucky; they’re one step closer to good health. But those diagnosees who trend toward the slovenly side must cultivate a neat streak, and (as you may recall from my ode to mess) it’s a heavy leaf to overturn in a day! I would contend that a leading cause for a lack of response to a gluten-free diet, right up there with non-adherence, is poor hygiene.

Sloppy sufferers who have spent weeks on a strict diet and still feel ill may need to look beyond the standard “sneaky gluten” hiding places. For these hypothetical sufferers, I’ve taken the liberty of compiling a list of additional warnings. Please keep in mind that the below suggestions are intended to address a strictly hypothetical celiac patient.

  • If you bite your nails or put your hands to your mouth, you may be picking up traces of gluten. This is especially likely if you don’t tend to make a specific point of cleaning under your fingernails.
  • If you were accustomed to eating breakfast at your computer before diagnosis and if you ever dropped a Cheerio (or several) onto your keyboard, you might be picking up cereal residue every time you touch said keyboard. If you then put your hands to your mouth—say, if you have continued to eat breakfast at your computer—you might be ingesting particles of gluten.
  • If you are a green type who carries your groceries home in a tote bag, and if you have also eaten a hunk of apple cake out of said tote bag on the subway, and if you happen to have not washed that tote bag since before diagnosis, you might be ingesting cake crumbs that are stuck to your potatoes (if you aren’t the most finicky ever about washing your produce).
  • If you have been known to wipe your hands on your jeans when no napkin was available, and if you happen to have not washed those jeans since before diagnosis, and if you continue to use said jeans as a napkin and then put your hands in your mouth, you might be ingesting traces of—really, who knows what at this point.
  • If you are partial to eating in bed, and if you don’t fret too much over dropping crumbs in said bed, and if you haven’t washed your sheets since before diagnosis, and if you bite your nails or put your hands to your mouth in your sleep, your dream about eating cookies may not be so far off from reality.
  • If you drop a fork on the floor and if you decide to use it anyway without washing it first, and if you haven’t swept your floor since—charitably speaking—before diagnosis, you may be consuming forkfuls of gluten.
  • If you have always been an unrepentant slob, and if you haven’t yet changed your ways, and if you still feel sick as a dog, you might want to think about quitting your nail biting and doing a few loads of laundry. One way or another, it’ll probably do you good.

Like I said, this post is all about hypotheses and hypotheticals. The above list is not even a little connected to my personal life. However, you may be interested to know that I did recently quit biting my nails and do a few loads of laundry. Before sitting back down at the computer to eat breakfast.

If you have more hygiene suggestions or tough love for the aforementioned hypothetical celiac patient, feel free to include them in your comments!

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Forgive me, father, for I have glutened.

h-armstrong-roberts-young-girl-saying-prayer-praying-loaf-bread-wheat-field-backgroundDid you see this conversation over at Gluten Dude’s blog? I am totally oblivious to pop culture, but from what I can tell, this Dean McDermott guy is a public figure who a) has celiac disease and b) regularly eats gluten anyway.

Good former Catholic that I am, this whole McDermott thing got me thinking about sin. That is, how is gluten like sin? How permanently do we blemish our immortal intestines when we gluten ourselves wittingly or unwittingly? And ought the community to strive, shepherdlike, to bring lost celiac lambs back to the flock?

There’s a perception that Catholics can sin as much as they want, because they can always confess later and be forgiven. Even if this idea wasn’t plucked directly from the limb of the tree of knowledge, it isn’t totally unfounded: confession does offer an opportunity to cleanse oneself of unrighteousness. According to doctrine, your sins—intentional and unintentional, venial and mortal—can be forgiven. But, you aren’t supposed to be finishing up your Hail Marys already planning your next coveting session. You’re meant to learn from your mistakes and fully intend to do better.

Similarly, I think that some people with celiac disease “cheat” on the basis that they can always go on the diet and be healed. They, too, aren’t entirely off: on a strict gluten-free diet, symptoms of celiac disease almost always resolve. As long as you’re good for long enough, your intestines can be good as new, too! I can see how it’d be easy for someone who is asymptomatic or who experiences only mild symptoms to indulge in a cookie here, a slice of pizza there—as a person might tell a lie here, steal a few dollars there—with the intention to get clean later.

Is this such a bad attitude? If so, why? For one thing, there’s refractory celiac disease to consider. Continuing to eat gluten may increase the likelihood that you’ll destroy your intestines for good. You could also wind up with an associated disease, like cancer, that you won’t be able to cure by avoiding gluten. As with eternal damnation, at either of these points there’s no coming back.

Habit-building is another piece of this. Every time you “cheat,” you’re hurting your ability to ever be able to adhere to the diet properly. Willpower is like a muscle, in that training it over the long term improves self-control. The repetition of even venial sins and BelVita bars engenders vice. A gluten-free diet for treating celiac disease requires strict compliance: as in penance, you must whole-heartedly orient your life and heart toward redemption. You must turn away from and repugn your past weaknesses. You must exercise rigid control from then on. If you’ve spent years harming your self-control along with your villi, true compliance may be tough.

Finally, Gluten Dude’s post and a lot of the responses point out that Dean’s gluten habit may be hurting his family and the general community. This brings me back to sin, which the Catholic catechism defines as “an offense against reason, truth, and right conscience; it is failure in genuine love for God and neighbor caused by a perverse attachment to certain goods. It wounds the nature of man and injures human solidarity.” Eating gluten while diagnosed with celiac disease is like that: It offends against medical reason and scientific truth, as well as right conscience, if perverse attachment to certain gluten-containing goods does in fact harm your neighbors. All this means it is, if not sinful, at least pretty sucky.

Of course, we’re all responsible for our own health. Sinners gonna sin, smokers gonna smoke, McDermott’s gonna eat. Maybe he doesn’t operate up to his highest possible capabilities on a daily basis, and maybe he’s doing insidious damage to himself that will take a long time to heal if he ever decides he wants to. But we make choices about what to define as best health, and we make choices about how seriously to take our own definition. Every day, we decide to hit the gym or not, to eat a balanced breakfast or not, to smoke or drink or stress ourselves out or not. If Dean doesn’t suffer many symptoms himself, then maybe the benefits of eating gluten outweigh the risks for him. From what I can tell, the medical community recommends staying gluten-free even if asymptomatic in order to protect against future complications—but of course, doctors caution against smoking and drinking to excess, too, often while carrying on their own substance habits to deal with the pressure of their jobs. Perhaps if Dean’s health begins to go downhill, he’ll change his ways.

In the meantime, his public callousness does make the rest of us look awfully picky. Is it off-base to be upset by this? People in the public eye always face greater approbation for their failings, whether it be Sanford for his affair or Lohan for her carousing, because it reflects badly on the conduct of governors and child stars in general and sets a bad example for the rest of us. Celebs like Dean must be at least some part of the reason that we get asked, “Can’t you have just a little?” or “Aren’t you taking this a bit far?” Then again, I do wonder to what extent people outside of the celiac community actually internalize McWhatsis’s behavior as a reflection on celiac sufferers in general. And, as Amanda has reminded me, celebrities have been known to do far worse things than any of the above.

Still, I do think that Gluten Dude made a lot of valid points. I think it’s fair to be annoyed at Dean and others like him, and I think it’s fair to try to educate them. I also appreciate that Dean’s folly served as an ideal jumping-off point for this half-baked homily, perhaps proclaimed to the chirping of internet crickets in the pews. I’m ready to step down from my wobbly pulpit and will leave the rest to you: How do you respond to situations like this? Do you hate the gluten, not the gluten-eater?

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