Embarrassing story time. You know the rhyme, “In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue”? Well, I used to think it went, “In 141892…” Yup. That halcyon year 141892.
I have no idea what first put this wildly inaccurate detail into my head, but I suppose I felt the line scanned better that way. Even though I learned and relearned about Columbus every year through at least seventh grade, I managed to persist in the error until I was…well…too old. I just never gave it much thought.
Boldly going where tons of people have gone before
Though it was dumb of me, it’s sort of appropriate, given that blithely perpetuated errors are the stuff of the education American kids receive about Christopher Columbus.
We learn he discovered America, but people already lived there and other sailors before him had stumbled on its shores. Plus, Columbus himself never admitted to discovering a “new” continent. He just called it India. Many of us also learned that Columbus was the first to suggest the world was round, when in fact educated folks of his time already knew it was. And he stands accused of many other things left out of the standard elementary school curriculum. When you really examine the Columbus story, there’s much that isn’t right.
Still, anyone who gives you a day off is a little bit of a hero. So in honor of Columbus Day—and rethinking things we’ve never thought through—here’s a list of a few discoveries I made while in search of something else entirely.
Went looking for onion rings and instead I found…bhaji
Bhaji are onion or vegetable fritters coated in my favorite ingredient ever—chickpea flour. You can fry or bake them, then dip in cucumber-mint-yogurt raita. You’ll forget you were ever looking for onion rings.
Went looking for cornbread and instead I found…arepas and pupusas
Folks who only ever order tacos are missing out on a whole world of corn patties. Some of the biggest producers of corn masa—such as Maseca—are now certified gluten-free, so you can enjoy safely (except perhaps where your arteries are concerned).
Went looking for “barley” and instead I found…buckwheat
You can buy whole buckwheat groats in bulk and make them into stir-fries, burgers, breakfast cereal, risotto, and deep-fried risotto balls (which I can attest are amazing). Buckwheat is so not just for crepes. Speaking of which…
Went looking for crepes and instead I found…dosas
Though you’ll have to hunt a bit to find the right ingredients to make these at home, dosas should usually be gluten-free (with the exception of cross-contamination). If you like crepes, Indian food, potatoes, and enormous portion sizes (and who doesn’t?), you’ll love these.
Went looking for pizza and instead I found…socca
You know about my love of socca already, but I had to include it, since it’s my greatest discovery of all time.
Have you tried any of these? Which do you like best?
I was not the first to discover these foods; people across the country and around the world kindly posted the recipes online, and others have eaten them for many years before I was around to Google them. I “discovered” these naturally gluten-free, not-meant-to-imitate-anything meals while intending to find something else.
The foods on this list aren’t what I originally went looking for—maybe just on the same latitude—but I’m glad I found them, and I look forward to charting ever-new terrain on my gluten-free journey.
Desserts, for example. When it comes to gluten-free flour blends, thar be dragons. When I quit skirting the shores (and clutching my King Arthur Flour mixes), I’m sure I’ll find all kinds of things I never intended to look for. Doing so may never get a holiday named for me, or a rhyme for kids to mess up when they recite it in 141892, but it’ll sure be fun.
Based on a Sprue Story 
I didn’t realize that you had the date error in your head all those years: that’s the problem with visual learning versus auditory. I learned the date as “Fourteen Hundred Ninety-Two” in a song, so it scanned just as nicely as your “Fourteen Eighteen Ninety-two”, with the advantage of being an actual date! But then, we did lots more singing in regular classes when I was a kid than you did once you hit the public schools.
I wonder if that’s how I learned it, too, and just switched out hundred for eighteen. It’s a mystery…
I could never remember if there were 52 weeks in a year and also 52 cards in a deck. I kept thinking that one of them was only 50. But I think that was because I kept getting confused and thinking there were 52 states instead of 50, and I KNEW there was a 50 in there somewhere!
Must be where I get it from! 😀 I also always struggled with whether there are 365 or 356 days in a year. We probably both have dyscalculia.
I think the only way to learn the song is “fourteen hundred.” Molly just goofed. I always had the same issue with 365 vs. 356, Molly! And to this day I always second-guess whether the human body temperature is 98.6 or 96.8…
Good thing your doctor didn’t include that on his pop quiz!
I think that’s a valid Star Trek date (well, probably not, but it sounds like one, and they were all exploring, too).
I cannot wait to try my hand at socca. And some of the Indian recipes. I use chickpea flour as the basis for a lot of my uncheese sauces (a la Joanne Stepaniak’s Uncheese Cookbook). I’m just not ready for make-your-own crepes yet.
[…] I fooled a few people on April 1st, got romantic on Valentine’s Day, and drew pictures on Celiac Awareness Day. I shared a cooking mishap or two, plus a success here or there. […]
[…] On our way, we stopped in to the Winter Village at Bryant Park to look at knickknacks and watch the first of the season’s skaters wobble ’round the rink. We couldn’t resist stopping at a stand prominently displaying the phrases “gluten free” and “we bake it fresh daily”—music to our freezing-over celiac ears—and selling pão de queijo, a Brazilian cheese and yucca bread. (Another one of those “even better than the rolls you went in search of” naturally gluten-free foods.) […]