A Candy Corny Calligram for Lovers and Haters

.
Oh

you
small
sweet
treat in
three fall
hues! You
pain me yet
I can’t refuse.
You’re cloying,
but I eat up still;
I simply cannot get
my fill. Each year I say
That’s quite enough! But
sticking to it’s really tough.
When I went vegetarian, I gave
up eating gelatin, and thought that I
had got you beat, especially when I gave
up wheat. For Brach’s, the kind I always ate,
may contain wheat. I said, that’s great! I steeled
myself to say goodbye, and swore I’d manage not
to cry. It all might turn out for the best; perhaps I’d feel
that I’d been blessed. But, look! my sister said, let’s see,
Some brand MUST make it gluten-free. She turned out to be
fully right, as I learned surfing site-to-site. The Jelly Belly kind is
clean, of wheat & nuts & gelatine. So, yes, I bought us both a bunch
although it was a budget crunch. And now—surprise—I’m feeling sick,
from falling for your same old trick. I feel that I can eat and eat, but ALWAYS
you prove way 
too sweet. I thought I’d lost you—planned to mourn—but still you
haunt me, Candy Corn
. I’m sure that I will quit next year. Till then, I’ll savor every ear.

250px-candy-corn

For those who don’t gag at the thought of candy corn: Jelly Belly’s is gluten-free and (in my opinion, but not my sister’s) better-textured than the more traditional but iffier Brach’s. It’s also about a thousand times the price, so start saving up now for next year. (Or for the Christmas “reindeer corn”…oh dear.)

For everyone: happy almost-Halloween! What bad habit can’t you seem to quit?

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15 thoughts on “A Candy Corny Calligram for Lovers and Haters

  1. Laurie C says:

    Such a moving ode to candy corn! I broke down and bought my first (and only!) bag of the season on Saturday. Ostensibly to decorate the pumpkin bars I was bringing to an event that night…

    • Molly says:

      Yum, pumpkin bars…sounds delicious. I’ve been seeing lots of good-looking GF recipes but haven’t picked one out to try yet. And now we have no candy corn left to go on top, ha!

  2. Anita says:

    Sugar! I’m always trying to cut out or reduce sugar. It’s painstakingly difficult and a love/hate relationship!

  3. Love this! Very cute ode to candy corn and love how you did it in the shape of candy corn. You are a woman of many talents! :)
    I actually don’t like candy corn at all, but have been tempted to buy the Jelly Belly kind just to try, but I can’t find it anywhere.

    • Molly says:

      Thanks!! :) We ordered ours online. I’m not kidding about the price…I’m actually embarrassed by how much I was willing to pay for it. If you aren’t a candy corn gal you might be better off skipping it (though I did like it better than some of the cheaper brands).

  4. My younger daughter just loves candy corn. Too sweet for me and for a long time I couldn’t eat it anyway because of corn syrup.

    • Molly says:

      It’s definitely polarizing. :) Althea and I inherited the taste for it from our mom, along with the popcorn loving genes, but our brother doesn’t display signs of either.

  5. Jess (The Patient Celiac) says:

    Hi Molly,
    2 things…1st, I now understand why I always had an aversion to candy corn during childhood (my grandma always had Brach’s), and 2nd, my husband is going to be thrilled to learn that there is a GF candy corn that can come into our GF home. He has been deprived and there was one night when went out to dinner last fall and he literally shoveled handfuls of the candy corn from the table decoration into his mouth.
    Jess

    • Molly says:

      That’s so funny! I don’t blame him one bit. I just heard through the Twittervine that Jelly Belly has apparently donated big money to some causes to which I’m really opposed, so I’m going to have to research that in advance of my next—if any—purchase from them…wish people could just be good people. It’d make responsible consumption so much easier!

  6. Candice says:

    As a Brit I’ve actually never ever eaten candy corn! I’ve always been intrigued by it though, I’ve heard the name banded around multiple times in movies (in the same way I’ve heard ‘corn dogs’ mentioned, another American invention i’ve yet to try!) I will have to get my hands on some of Jelly Belly’s gluten free ones though, I feel like it might be a bit of a cultural experience :-)

    • Molly says:

      I didn’t even realize candy corn was a US thing (though, thinking about it again, of COURSE it’s a US thing). You should try it! But take caution: it’s addicting!

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